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Motherhood: Expectations vs. Reality
My interview this week is with Kelly McBride, a former maternal wellness studio owner and mother of three children ages 23, 20 & 16. In this interview Kelly talks about how she navigated the change in her role of mother as a result of her divorce. This story is so incredibly relatable to all mothers. Becoming a mother is such a change in identity. We enter this with a set of expectations of how things will be, should be or ought to be. Sometimes we get exactly what we want, and then things change. Sometimes we get exactly what we want only to realize it's not what we thought it would be. And sometimes life throws us a real curve ball and nothing looks the way we expected it. This week we will focus on three themes:
1. Being Enough. What exactly does it mean to be enough? Who is defining for us what "enoough" is? What happens when you "fall short" of these ideals.
2. Shame. Let's be real, we've all experienced some form of mother shame. Did you plan for a natural birth and had an epidural? Did you plan to breastfeed and it just didn't work for you? Do you work? Send you child to daycare? Not pick him up until 6pm? Eat takeout more than you'd like to admit. Let your kids have more screen time than you'd like to admit. It's time to stop being your own worst critic.
3. How to learn to set stuff down. Do you feel like the weight of the world is upon your shoulders? I don't mean figuratively. I mean that quite literally. If you have chronic neck, shoulder and upper back tension then you probably need to look at what in your life you need to learn to set down. A client of mine described this feeling like she "took off a suit of armor"? Easier said than done right? I know I need to eat healthy, but having some support actually helps me be successful in doing that. I'll show you how to go bed feeling like a successful mom.
1. Being Enough. What exactly does it mean to be enough? Who is defining for us what "enoough" is? What happens when you "fall short" of these ideals.
2. Shame. Let's be real, we've all experienced some form of mother shame. Did you plan for a natural birth and had an epidural? Did you plan to breastfeed and it just didn't work for you? Do you work? Send you child to daycare? Not pick him up until 6pm? Eat takeout more than you'd like to admit. Let your kids have more screen time than you'd like to admit. It's time to stop being your own worst critic.
3. How to learn to set stuff down. Do you feel like the weight of the world is upon your shoulders? I don't mean figuratively. I mean that quite literally. If you have chronic neck, shoulder and upper back tension then you probably need to look at what in your life you need to learn to set down. A client of mine described this feeling like she "took off a suit of armor"? Easier said than done right? I know I need to eat healthy, but having some support actually helps me be successful in doing that. I'll show you how to go bed feeling like a successful mom.
What KIND of mother are you?
I think we all enter motherhood with a set of expectations of what it will be like, feel like. Who will or won't be there? How old are we? How many children we have? What "kind" of mom are you and then what happens when you discover you may not really want that once you have it. Maybe you thought you'd stay home with your baby and are longing to return to work? Maybe you dreamed of beautiful moments breastfeeding your baby and instead it's a cry fest (both you and the baby). Or maybe breastfeeding just isn't working no matter how hard you keep trying. It's so easy to judge yourself, to feel the judgement (real or perceived) from others. Don't be mistaken, this judgement isn't limited to infants. Did you bring store bought cupcakes to the school bake sale. Do you leave your child in daycare until 6pm. Do you order take out? Let your kids have screen time? In this social media world of "Compare and Despair" how do you know what's right for you and your family? If you do know what's right, how do you keep from being your own worst critic. How do you find the confidence to set down the sword of self judgement? By knowing what your true and authentic values are and forming healthy boundaries around those. If you're tired of being your own worst critic, let's talk. Click here to set up a connection call.
If you're ready to stop being your own worst critic, lets talk. Click here to set up a FREE Consultation |
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